Breaking Dawn: Review
by hail the queen
Summary: This is my review on what we've all been waiting months for: Breaking Dawn. Contains spoilers. If you haven't read BD, don't read this. Review and share your own opinion.
1. Chapter 1

Alright, so, I thought I'd vent/review some on Breaking Dawn. HOWEVER, I'M NOT BASHING IT (ON PURPOSE)

DISCLAIMER: I'M NOT STEPHENIE MEYER

Mmk, so, I'll talk about things as they come to me.

First of all, I liked the wedding. I thought Stephenie did a good job. The honey-moon was fine. BUT, I would just like to say: I thought it was weird how Bella was eating, sleeping, and dreaming so much, so I sat the book down for a minute and wondered why besides exhaustion. HELLO? Pregnancy. So then, I thought, "NOO! IT CAN'T BE!" Lo and behold, she's five days late on her period and she has a freaking bump. At that point, I was crying and hoping that I would flip the page and there would be a note from Stephenie saying she was just kidding and here's how the book really went. After all, that's only the first what? 100 pages? of BD.

So I trudged onward through the book, also crying when Jacob's POV popped up. I mean, of course I knew someone else was going to have their POV from the way it was separated, but... Why Jacob? Of course it had to be Jacob. I went into Jacob's POV thinking I would just trudge through this and then HOPEFULLY get back to the promise land (aka BPOV). I did enjoy the insight into the pack mind, and I must say, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm not a Jacob-hater, don't get me wrong, but I'm also not one of those people who think Jella should be (that's a lost cause – she belongs with Edward). Yep. K, would also just like to say I always thought Sam would turn bad or become narrow-minded or something at some point. Teehee.

Next on the list, Rosalie. WHAT? It's SO IN CHARACTER. Seriously, exactly the type of thing Rosalie, who would boil puppies in order to kidnap some orphans, would do. Yes, she used Bella. Yes, she wanted Renesmee (don't worry, I'm getting to that). But really? Did you think Rosalie would be like "KILL IT BELLA IT'S KILLING MY SISTERRR". No. This is a precious little child, however demonic and rough it is, at least in her mind. And I really like Rosalie, guys. I've enjoyed her since New Moon when she goes spreading lies to Edward. I still like her, because she _stays true to her character._ Think about it. Your sister-in-law who you really, really dislike just got something you've wanted for a hundred years: a baby. People are telling her to kill it so she can live. You're gonna step in to save that baby, whether Bella makes it through or not. Also, anyone laugh when Rosalie & Emmett were going to get witnesses and Rosalie gives Edward and Bella 'hard smiles,' blows Renesmee a kiss, and grimaces at Jacob? What? No gratitude for the creators of the demon child? Of course not.

Renesmee, Renesmee, Renesmee. NESSIE. Anyone got some holy water? No, just kidding. Alright, so, the following paragraph might be a long one.

As said earlier, I cried when I realized Bella was preggers. I _sobbed;_ my mom thought something was seriously wrong with me. I wanted to scream and say "BUT VAMPIRE MEN CAN'T IMPREGNATE!" Nope, Edward can. He's an INCUBUS. Anyone see that coming? Anyone? I sure didn't. Also, to the people who are all "THEY SHOULD HAVE KILLED IT." I'll bet my foot on the editors/publishers/authority in this situation would not allow it, even if that is where the plotline was going. It would promote abortion in their opinion, therefore, it's impossible to put into such a widespread novel. So, anyway, the pregnancy was.. horrible. It broke ribs and a pelvis! What in the world! I think Bella handled it very Bella-esquely though. Of course she wouldn't kill. She can't try to hurt anything except Jake's face, Jake, and people who wanna look at her baby/Edward. Onward ho, so I didn't really think about the name because she's always going to be Nessie in my mind, the large mythical sea monster in the Loch Ness. She's admittedly a bit of a mary-sue, but I like how she has brown eyes instead of green. And Jake imprints on her. ...WHAT? _WHAT? _I just kinda stared at that point, as soon as he started talking about what holds him down to earth/Forks/La Push/whatever. Really, it's like a fanfiction. I don't even read those types of fanfiction because _I hate the idea of a B/E kid._

Renesmee calls for a second paragraph/her own section so I don't scare anyone away with a wall of text and caps, which I am using liberally in this review.

The monster from the loch's power, though, isn't especially powerful. I like it. It's like Edward's, only reversed. Pretty cool; not too special or advantageous (at least at this point). I thought Nessie's mind was a bit too advanced though. I mean, she wouldn't have the mind of a two year old, but really.. It was a bit fast for my tastes.

And in the end, Renesmee grew on me. A lot. I still would've preferred there be no pregnancy at all, but I'm strangely alright with it, I guess. If it haves to be this way.

Edward and Bella action. Not much juicy kissin' descriptions going on, and the love scenes were nonexistant. Anyone know the VMT? Vampire Mating Thread at the Lexicon? Yeah, pretty pointless, don't you think? Anywho, yes, call me a perv or whatever, but.. I just felt it was kind of lacking at that point. Let's face it. This wasn't a Bella and Edward book, it was a Renesmee prologue.

'Cause we all know Renesmee's POV will be next. Don't deny it. Stephenie said she wants to take a break from vampires – Nessie is not a vampire.

I thought Edward was out of character, wanting to kill it and all, but then maybe not. After all, this thing was going to kill Bella, the love of his life. He wants it out, he wants it out now. He'll get it out and put it in flames himself, but he can't because he's a total and utter pushover when it comes to Bella. So, yep. I did want him to attack Rosalie though.

I thought Bella's power was okay. I really kind of wanted something.. I don't know. Not so easy to pass through? I mean, all you do is walk in the bubble and your mind is also safe. I really liked the scene where Felix was talking to Bella. I expected Bella to breeze through newborn-ness; she made the choice and she has goals. But I really wanted Bella to do something like become invisible (because her mind is kind of invisible, right?) or see people's 'essence'. Like are they good or bad? Etc etc.

I was disappointed by the Volturi battle scene. I wanted there to be a fight. I wanted Bella to take down Jane. I wanted Felix to attack Bella. However, all you people who were like "ARO'S REALLY THE WORST" were wrong. xD I KNEW IT. Red herring, anyone?

So, in general, I was letdown by Breaking Dawn. I'll eventually warm up to the concept Stephenie has painted, and maybe even learn to appreciate what is Nessie the Demon Seed. It was very well-written and I think she worked with the plot okay. Overall, I just really.. thought it went against everything she's told us. BUT, I AM NOT BASHING HER. I give her props for going outside the box (way, way outside the box, like on the other side of the room) and taking a chance. This book is one that people will have to process and warm up to. I waited five months like the rest of the world, and yes, most of us were letdown and upset. Let's just try to keep our heads and word through this time.

I still love you Stephenie Meyer.


	2. Chapter 2

You know, you guys are all pretty awesome. Don't know why, but I felt the need to respond to your reviews to my review (that makes perfect sense, right? right.) and this is the only way I know how.

Kay, so, this is basically a continuation/response.

I was so upset that there was pretty much no description with kisses. I WANTED LEMONDROPS. I'm not ashamed to admit it: I LIKE SMUT AND I'M PROUD. I was just.. really disappointed that we got _no _description of anything vaguely deliciously lemony, you know? I would've been okay with something along the lines of: "He held me, the contours of his perfect body pressed to my bare skin. It was pure bliss, made with someone who figured himself a soulless monster." Sigh. I'm sorry, Stephenie, we're not all tasteful Mormons and we (I? Lol) wanted to read some juicy stuff _from you._

I felt closure about the series, though. That's good.

Lots of things that appear to be cop-outs in this book, but Stephenie said she had the outline for BD before Twilight was out.

Again, I'm stunned that Edward is an incubus. So basically he's a (would-be) sex god who gets it on with the humans and his children kill people. That is, if he wasn't a bizarrely moral virgin (at least before the honey-moon). Hm. Never know, do you? It's always the quiet, mysterious ones.

I'm very glad to see some people really liked BD. I'm worried about Stephenie – I don't want her feelings to get hurt or anything, because some people (am I being hypocritical?) feel the need to be all mean and crazy. Insane. Wack.

This book was wack, in both good and bad ways.

xXxElianexXx, you're welcome. I tried to be balanced.

Maxie Fonseca (btw your name sends drool running down my chin, it's so cool), it's Ruh-nez-may. Crazzzyyy.

I think I might name my firstborn demon child Renesmee and call her Nessie, whether it is has the goods down south or up north (and south..). "NESSIE, GET YOUR DEMONIC IN THIS HOUSE BEFORE I SICK EDWARD JACOB ON YOU." Sigh.

Also, know what's funny? Stephenie doesn't read fanfic. Hmm. All of those 13 year old girls weren't that off track even in their ignorance, were they?

I have to say that I found Breaking Dawn to be along the lines of New Moon for me with the reading experience. You have to learn to love it (unless you're one of those filthy Jacob-lovers. Where's my silver bullet? I need to kill me some werewolves – oops, scratch that. _Shapeshifters. _Just kidding. And silver bullets don't even work. Sigh.)

I loved the scene with J. Jenks and Bella. Hehe.

I found Leah's behavior odd. Very odd indeedy.

I still think Bella should be invisible. And where's her fire? Her zest?

Sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh.

Learn to love it, haters. Hey, did you guys know some people are quitting writing fanfic because of BD? Insane.

Wack.

K, I bet this doesn't get read, but I felt like adding on to what I said earlier.

STILL NOT STEPHENIE MEYER: STILL LOVING HER

Those who haven't read all/any of Breaking Dawn should be prepared.

Also, I'll bet a tooth that the Loch Ness Monster will be the POV we see for awhile. Or LEAH'S. Or SETH'S.

Anyone else want a POV from someone inside the Volturi? Heidi, or Demetri, perhaps?

And sorry for the grammatical horror overload in both chap one and chap two of my review. I'm too hyped at the moment to check back.

K, I'm done (for now). DUNDUNDUNNNN.


End file.
